Thursday, November 22, 2012

But You Promised Me, Daddy!

A month from now it will be almost Christmas, and I'm sure many bloggers like me will be doing some sort of Christmas Specials. Christmas lights have started to show up in many cities, and CHRISTMAS TV MOVIES ARE BACK! That is some really bad news.

Those movies designed to bring christmas spirit make me want to slap their actors in the face. And in case you haven't noticed, 99% of them always follow the same pattern:

Super busy mom/dad/random jerk doesn't pay attention to his kid/to anyone because he/she is so focused on evil things like money, or work, even though they're a good person on the inside. They hate Christmas because they didn't have a good Christmas in their childhood. Their kid -usually only one kid, since the mom/dad/random jerk has to be divorced a long time ago so that we don't think they're being slutty when they meet Someone New- asks for a super cool gift that is soooo important for them to have. The mom/dad meets Someone New that teaches them how bad and miserable they've been, and that Christmas is nice and magical. The mom/dad/random jerk realizes this at the end of the movie, just in time to buy the super cool gift. And in the end, the mom/dad are not single any more, and they just turn into a creepy perfect family. Sometimes there's elves and magic involved, too.

Basically, these movies tell us that unless we buy that specific toy, we're not going to be happy or enjoy Christmas, and that our kids will hate us as parents, if you already are a parent, or when you become one.

I once was a stupid kid too. And still am, sometimes, so when I decide I want something, there's no way you can get it out of my mind. In this occasion I'm talking about how much I want a dog. And I even dreamed with it:

My dad, my mom and me went to the zoo, and there was this long-haired huge dog with a red bow on it, just like a gift; locked up in a cage. My dad goes and puts some explosives to make the cage open, and cuts the dog's chain. The zoo alarms went off and three guards that looked like they were taken out of a Tintin comic come in and have this conversation with my dad:

- Guards: Good Morning Sir. It is not allowed to steal this dog.
- Dad: Yes it is, I booked it the other day.
- Guards: Okay then. No problem. Only thing is, you have to pay 5€ to replace the chain.
- Dad: There you go. Have a nice day!
- Guards: You too, Sir!

So this is how I got a dog in my dreams, and how I woke up totally disappointed for not having a long-haired huge dog licking my face in the morning, just like an american kid would have felt if his dad hadn't attended his baseball match: "You promised me, Daddy!!" {runs away}


  1. How can you not like Elf (that's a christmas film)? Will Ferrell is awesome as Buddy, well actually he's generally awesome in any films. Most films have patterns take anything action related as an example, bad guys turn up and kick some arse, then good guys somehow kick the bad guys arse which ends with people leaving the cinema pretending to be superheroes. What type dog are you after? I hope you get one :-)

  2. I have to admit I really don't like Will Ferrell. BUT I was talking more about the TV Movies, those not-so-good productions with mediocre actors that are just produced for TV :) Not a big fan of Christmas movies in general, but there are indeed some great ones. And yup, you have a good point about the patterns, but still there are ways to make two movies with the same plot/pattern and still have two really different results! And... I just want my dog to be big and hairy!

  3. I totally agree about the TV movies. They all follow similar patterns. I still think the older classic Christmas movies are the best ones. But I do love Christmas Vacation and Elf!

    1. Totally agree, Phil! There isn't any Christmas when we don't watch It's a Wonderful Life...and always end up crying!

  4. Love all your posts! I agree Andrea, the Christmas TV films make me wanna puke (being rude).They're always like a mix of "Ana y los siete" and "En Busca del Valle Encantado 19". I follow you :). By the way, your drawings are amazing, you should consider working professionally as a children tales illustrator. True story.

    1. Hahaha I would've never thought of that combination, but apparently they did in Antena 3! Merci beaucoup ma petite C!